Harry Potter and the Internship of Aestas Estas
by Saffron Yellow
Summary: How Harry Potter spent his summer vacation
1. Chapter 1

"I really wish I didn't have to go," sighed Harry as he stood in the security line at Gatwick Airport. The line moved slowly and he was feeling crabby. Travel should be fun and exciting, but the endless security lines dulled Harry's enthusiasm. He began to find fault with everything; Gatwick seemed so small and dingy as compared to Heathrow. He wished he could have flown out of there instead.

"Well, Mr. Dumbledore knows what is best," said the enormous man standing next to him. "Besides ain't this better than staying with your Aunt and Uncle?"

"Yes, Hagrid, but I would have liked to have stayed at Hogwarts this summer," said Harry.

"Well, lad, this internship is a big opportunity for you. The wizards you'll be apprenticed to, why they're some of the finest in the States."

"Have you ever met them?" asked Harry. He looked up at Hagrid's face.

"A while ago, lad; they have their peculiarities," Hagrid stumbled across the long word, "But don't let that throw you." He thought for a moment and said, "One of them has a tiger for a familiar."

"A tiger?" Harry sounded alarmed. He had to check Hedwig in as luggage, he would hate to imagine having to take a tiger somewhere.

"Well, why not?" asked Hagrid. "One familiar is as good as another, ain't it?" It's a beautiful tiger too, white as snow, and it's friendly."

"Well, I hope so," said Harry. He felt a little relieved to here that it was a white tiger; at least Hedwig and it would have something in common. They got to the front of the line. "Well, I guess this is goodbye, Hagrid," he said.

"Take care of yourself, Harry," said Hagrid and the two men shook hands. Harry emptied out his pockets and took off his shoes. Hagrid stood and watched as the young wizard went through the metal detector.

The security guard stopped him. He was an older gentleman with white hair and a pointy nose. "Son, what the hell is this?" he asked as he held aloft a slender wooden rod.

"It's my wand, sir," replied Harry, meekly.

"A wand?"

"You know, like for casting magic spells," explained Harry.

"Do you worship the devil, son?" he asked.

"What? No, of course not," replied Harry, surprised by the question.

"Do you play Dungeons and Dragons?"

"No," he said swiftly, but though for a second, "I mean I play it with my friends once in a while. My friend Ron is a gnome illusionist and I'm a half-elf barbarian and our friend Hermione is the dungeon master…"

"Son, that's a lot more than I needed to know," said the security guard and he gave Harry back his wand.

"Muggles," Hagrid muttered under his breath as he walked away.

Harry took a cab out of the airport and through Las Vegas. The flight had been an ordeal. He had to take a taxi in New York City form La Guardia to JFK and traffic had crawled. The cab had smelled heavily of cigar smoke, which had made Harry feel like retching. He had to run through the airport to make his flight. He was in better spirits now. Vegas looked pretty; sunny and dry with sand and palm trees everywhere. How different it seemed from England, though Harry wondered briefly how pretty it would be away from air conditioning.

The address he had been given was a ways out of the city. The neighborhood seemed quite pleasant. The houses became enormous as he came to the street. Most magnificent of all was the vast Italianate mansion at the cul-de-sac. Harry gasped and double checked the address.

He paid the cab driver and took his worn black bags and his covered birdcage to the white marble steps. He rang the bell and waited for a few moments. The pale yellow door was thrown open a few moments later. A very blonde man stood before him. He was dressed flamboyantly in silk pantaloons, a bright yellow shirt with feathers on the sleeve and an enormous silver cape which glittered in the sunlight; beside him stood an enormous white tiger.

"Can I help you?" asked the man. He had a faint German accent and spoke in a falsetto.

"I'm your apprentice, Harry Potter," said Harry. He pulled out his letter of introduction. The man read it for a second and said, "Come in, come in." The foyer was vast. It had a red, white and black tile floor and a white marble balcony above. In the center of the room was a fountain with statues of naked youths cavorting.

"Oh Siegfried," the man called out.

"Oh Roy," Harry heard a voice call back.

"The new boy is here," called Roy.

"Is he dreamy?" the voice called back. It gave a particularly melodious rendering of the word "Dreamy."

"Siegfried, you promised to behave," said Roy, crossly, as he put his hand on his hips.

"I was only teasing," said the second man as he appeared on the balcony. He was dressed much like Roy, except his feathered shirt was red and his cape was gold. "Ooh, but he is quite a dish. What's your name?"

"Harry Potter, sir," Harry replied.

"Oh, you make me so ancient with that 'Sir.' Please call me Siegfried.

Harry sighed. It was going to be a long summer.


	2. Chapter 2

Now here is your bedroom," said Roy and Harry was led into a magnificent chamber with a white canopied bed, a hard wood floor with deep red Turkish rugs. The cabinets, desk and wardrobe were all white, the color of sea shells. It had walls painted sky blue; a number of old fashioned quilts hung up on them.

"Isn't it lovely?" asked Roy.

"It's something," agreed Harry.

"My room is just down the hall," said Siegfried. "Don't hesitate to call if you need anything at all, Harold. I know how stressful it is to be away from your home country. I can help you relax with a massage or a bedtime story; I tell the most delicious bedtime stories."

"I'll keep that in mind," said Harry.

"Now we must do something about these clothes," said Roy firmly.

"I think he looks divine," said Siegfried as he raked his fingers across Harry's jacket. "He exactly like I imagined an English schoolboy would."

"I bet you spend a lot of time imagining thing like that," said Roy as he rolled his eyes. "He's wearing a scarf in Las Vegas in the middle of the summer."

"This is the House Gryffindorf scarf," said Harry a bit defensively. He was proud of his house and wore his scarf whenever he could.

"Yes, dear," said Roy, "But it isn't well suited for the stage."

"The stage?" repeated Harry.

"Of course," said Siegfried. "Didn't Mr. Dumbledore tell you what you would be doing?"

"Only that you were the arch mage of Las Vegas and that I would be your apprentice," said Harry. Dumbledore hadn't told him a lot about the position; and Harry had been too focused on his finals to concern himself much with the events of the summer. Only at the end of the year banquet did he start thinking about what going overseas would be like.

"Oh that Dumbledore," giggled Siegfried. "There's much he hasn't told you."

"We're performers," said Roy as he put his left and on his hip and struck a dramatic pose. "We use magic to entertain people."

"You mean muggles?" asked Harry.

Both Siegfried and Roy gasped when Harry said that. "Harold Potter," said Siegfried, "You must never use that word."

"I realize that you are English," added Roy, "And you don't have the same sensibilities that we have in America, but really."

"I'm sorry," said Harry Potter, a bit bewildered. "Muggle" was a common conversational term in the magic world in the United Kingdom; he couldn't imagine anyone getting upset by its use. He reminded himself that he was in a different country, and they did things differently here. "What should I call them," he asked.

"Non-magic using Americans," said Roy, "And, yes, that is for whom we perform."

"We give them the chance to escape into the realm of illusion and believe in magic," said Siegfried.

"But in England we try to keep magic secret from the mu…" Harry stopped himself in time, "I mean the non-magic using Americans," said Harry.

"Yes, but this is Vegas, baby" replied Siegfried.

"Now you must have a silk shirt," said Roy as he studied Harry carefully. Harry felt as if he were a bug in a bell jar as Roy walked around him. "You have wonderfully luminous skin, so we'll something bright."

"I'm thinking orange," said Siegfried. "He'll look divine in orange.

"Yes, but something more muted for the pants," said Roy, "We don't want him to upstage the tigers."

"They'll be silk, right?" asked Siegfried.

"Of course, how about cream?" suggested Roy.

"Oh, perfect," said Siegfried. "I'll get your measurements right away." He pulled out a cloth tape measure and immediately started running it over Harry's body. Harry was relieved that there was no mention of feathers for his shirt, like those that Siegfried and Roy wore, but he was a little disappointed that neither one had said anything about a cape.

"I think you've measured his inseam enough times now," said Roy acridly.

"Spoilsport," said Siegfried as he stood up. "I shall get you your clothes by tonight. You will look ravishing."

"Right now get some rest," said Roy. "We shall have a busy night."


	3. Chapter 3

Harry slept a little, but the jet lag caused him to wake up earlier than he would have liked. Hedwig had no trouble adjusting and was sleeping soundly in the wardrobe. Harry tiptoed out of his room so as not to wake her. He found the house deserted as he strolled about it. It was mammoth and immaculately clean. There was antique furniture and tasteful accoutrements everywhere. It looked like a Martha Stewart catalogue brought to life. Harry was afraid to breathe on anything.

He walked out of doors. The heat was incredible; it felt like stepping into an oven. Roy had been right; it would have been foolish to wear the Hogwart's uniform in this weather. He was glad he hadn't woken Hedwig and taken her with him; she wouldn't have cared for the heat one bit. He walked around the house. The lawn was not the best, the grass looked parched and it was not even midsummer. Harry was used to the lush green grass of England and the flowers blooming everywhere this time of year; everything seemed dead or dying in Las Vegas. He found there was a small garden in back. It was built around a cup shaped fountain with four statues of turtles that seemed to trying to climb into the water. An old man was there. Harry watched in amusement as he tried to plant an evergreen while stepping on flowers.

"Hello there," said Harry.

"Ah, you must be the new boy," said the man. He was short, and had a fine mess of white hair.

"I'm Harry Potter, but you can call me Harry."

"I'm the gardener," he replied.

"What's your name?"

"The Gardener," he replied simply.

"Your parents named you that?"

"I don't know, you see I was raised by plants and they call every human 'The Gardener.' Except for weeds, I'll not repeat what they call people."

"How could you have been raised by plants?" asked Harry.

"Well, I don't rightfully know, but as long as I can remember I've been able to hear the voice of every living being, really of everything. Everything has a voice, you know; rocks, dust, rivers, trees and people. If you listen, I mean really listen with your heart, you'll hear them all say the same thing."

"What's that?" asked Harry.

"Om," the man replied. "I can see you don't believe me," said the man. In truth Harry couldn't tell if the man was making fun of him, or merely eccentric. The Gardener continued, "When I was your age I wouldn't have believed it either. At that time in my life I left my faster parents; they were daisies, to find my way as a mendicant but I found no enlightenment in that. Then I moved to Las Vegas and lived a life of worldly pleasure but found no enlightenment either. So I fled far into seclusion until one night I heard the grass sing."

"How long have you been working for the arch-mage," Harry asked, hoping to change the subject.

"Several years now," the old man replied. "He wants me to use Feng Shui to design the garden and put in a koi pond. I do what the plants want, though and that seems to suit him.'

"He seems a bit… well… flamboyant," Harry noted.

"To your eyes, perhaps, but consider the colors of nature. He's no more startling than a rose or a violet or…" his voice trailed of. Harry looked and saw a gorgeous blonde woman standing near the fountain.

"Is she your assistant?" Harry asked as he swallowed hard. Her eyes were striking. He felt his chest grow tight as she looked at him. Suddenly, from nowhere, she drew a sword and began running toward him.

Harry hadn't time to scream, she was near him in a moment. Right as she raised her sword for a killing blow he heard Roy's voice announce, "I summon The Black Cobra. Cobra attack."

A snake shot forward past Harry and struck the woman's forearm. She screamed in pain and dropped to her knees.

"Who is this?" asked Harry as Roy walked up to him. He hadn't had time to feel afraid when she was charging him, but now he felt flooded by fear and relief all at once.

"One of David Copperfield's super model ninjas," answered Roy.

"What?" asked Harry Potter. He may not have anticipated an answer, but Roy's answer was the one he had anticipated least. The Gardener, though, was completely nonplused by the entire situation and went back to gardening as if nothing had happened.

"David Copperfield is, along with Siegfried and me, one of the wise men of Las Vegas. He's had a hard life; I've read all about it. First his father died before he was born and then his crazy maiden aunt refused to help his mother since the aunt had wanted a niece rather than a nephew. Then his mother remarried, but this time she married a horrible man. Fortunately they sent him to Hogwarts, but a year later his mother died in childbirth. His step father sent him to work in a factory; but David escaped and made his way back to his crazy maiden aunt who completed his magic education. So many terrible experiences left him without the capacity to love. He can only express his emotions by killing people. That's why he formed an army of super model ninjas to inflict his whims." He turned his head to look at the woman and said "Stop that." Harry looked up and saw that she had taken her sword and was preparing to drive it into her stomach. She dropped it when she heard Roy's voice. "Oh Claudia," chided Roy, "What are we going to do with you? I'll get you some herb tea and an antidote to the poison. Come along inside."

"He has 50 women like this?" asked Harry as he leaned back and his chair and surreptitiously ran his eyes down her nubile body to her well formed calves.

"Oh yes, Mr. Copperfield wants everyone to think he's quite the playboy so he has one for every week of the year; not including Christmas and Easter, of course. It's all for show, though. I'm told that the women are all dreadfully lonely."

Harry silently resolved to kill Dumbledore when he got back to Hogwarts for having sent him to Siegfried and Roy rather than to David Copperfield. "But why me?" asked Harry. "Do you think he's a servant of he-who-shall-not-be-named?"

"David Copperfield?" Roy laughed, "Oh you silly boy. No, this is how he says 'Hello.'"

"By trying to kill me?"

"This is how David expresses all emotion. He's heard of you and so wanted to meet the boy who lived."

Harry realized he was talking to Roy when a gorgeous woman was sitting next to him. He watched enraptured as she drank her tea and antidote.

"I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself before," said Harry. The words sounded all wrong and he felt tongue tied, but he soldiered on. "My name is Harry Potter." She paid no attention to him whatsoever and continued drinking her tea.

Siegfried walked in wearing a magnificent white bathrobe with silver sequins on it. He had a towel wrapped around his head. "Don't waste your time, Harold. They never say anything. I so want to learn their make up secrets, but their ninja code forces them to remain silent."

"I see," said Harry, still unable to take his eyes off her.

"So you like statuesque blondes?" asked Siegfried as he adopted a pose similar to Michelangelo's David.

"Well," said Harry, thinking of Cho Chang, "I sort of like Asians."

"Oh, so do I," said Siegfried. "They're so slender and hairless. Have you ever been to Bangkok?"

"Maybe you should get ready for the show, Harry," suggested Roy.

Harry got up and trudged to his room. He didn't want to leave Claudia; not even if it meant Siegfried talk about Bangkok. He found a new set of clothes laid out on his bed. He gathered them up, went to the bathroom and prepared a bath for himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Harry felt a bit foolish walking on stage in an orange silk shirt and cream colored silk pants. Siegfried insisted that he looked good enough to eat; which did little to quell Harry's nerves. Roy said that he looked dashing, like a young Errol Flynn. That made Harry feel better for "Robin Hood" was a favorite movie at Hogwarts. Every Magic School's Week they would gather in the cafeteria and watch "Robin Hood," "The Sorcerers Apprentice" and some cautionary films about the dangers of magic mushrooms.

The show was indeed marvelous. Siegfried was an extraordinary illusionist and could create anything out of thin air. Roy was a first rate conjurer and summoned all manner of white lions and Siberian tigers on the stage. More than that, though, they were outstanding showmen and enthralled the audience throughout the show.

After the show Siegfried and Roy were besieged by a legion of fans. Harry packed up, but even after he had finished the crowd around Siegfried and Roy had not abated. He walked around the theater for a while and then out into the vast hotel. The lobby was extraordinary with massive chandeliers, enormous fountains, interior waterfalls and flamingos throughout. Harry thought it looked as magnificent as anything that came from the magical world. As he was admiring the view he felt himself jostled from behind. He turned around and saw a young girl knocked back on the floor. Harry reached down to give her a hand up, but as he stuck his hand out he found himself mesmerized. The girl was perhaps a year or two younger than Harry, had brilliant red hair braided into a thick rope and the most enchanting green eyes. Harry felt his pulse race as she grabbed his hand and tugged on it.

"Oh, thank you so much," said the girl. Her voice was soft and melodious, like a flute being played in the distant. "I'm sorry, I'm so clumsy and I wasn't watching where I was going. It's just I've never seen anything like this before; all this space," she waved her hand about.

"It is something," agreed Harry, though he never took his eyes off the girl.

"My name is Alexandrina," she said as she stuck her hand out.

"Alexandrina?" asked Harry as he took her hand. It felt warm and vibrant.

"It's terribly old fashioned, I know," she said. "My friends call me Drina, but I don't like that much better."

"Well, I have just an ordinary name, Harry," he said. "Harry Potter, you can't sound plainer than that."

"Harry Potter?" she looked at him closely, examining the scar on his forehead as if she were a jeweler. "I've heard of you; you're the boy who lived."

"You're a witch?" asked Harry, surprised.

"Of course, I have red hair," she shook her head to make her hair spill about like a graceful red river. "Mother says that all redheads are witches and God made my hair red in order to punish her."

"I don't think that's true; there are plenty of muggles…" Harry paused to correct himself when he saw Alexandrina turn scarlet, "I mean non-magic using Americans with red hair who are not witches." Harry was genuinely sorry to have caused Alexandrina embarrassment, but the blush made her look even more beautiful.

"But why are you here?" she asked, desperate to change the subject. "Are you on one of your marvelous adventures? Would you take me along? I'm nowhere near as scatterbrained as Ron and not at all a prig like Hermione."

"How do you know so much about me?" asked Harry, perplexed.

"Oh, I've read all about you on Hermione's Live Journal. She tells all about the adventures you go on; though mostly she complains about the things you and Ron do."

"That's mostly what she does in real life too," said Harry with a polite laugh.

Suddenly Alexandrina seemed to spot something behind her that made her turn pale. "I've just remembered there's something I must do," she announced. She turned and fled. Harry stood transfixed watching her snow white legs as she walked away. His eyes were momentarily distracted by a ring she wore on her right hand. It was gold and set with a garnet the same color as her hair. The ring looked ancient; Harry wondered if it was magical.

"There you are you naughty boy," said a voice from behind. "Roy and I were worried sick about you. Weren't we, Roy?"

"How you exaggerate," Roy answered as Harry turned around. "Shall we go home?"

"Ooh, I love that idea," said Siegfried. "I'm in the mood for a big bowl of popcorn and a Garbo movie."

"Let's let Harry pick which one, since it's his first night here," said Roy.

"Very well," agreed Siegfried. "What is your favorite Garbo movie, Harold?"

"I don't think I've ever seen one," Harry replied.

"Never?" both men sounded flabbergasted.

"Not that I can recall."

"You're in for a treat. We'll see Ninotchka tonight," said Siegfried.

"Oh, I hate that one," said Roy. "Garbo is so old in it."

"Heretic," retorted Siegfried. "Garbo is never old."


	5. Chapter 5

They had ended up watching "Grand Hotel," instead. Both Siegfried and Roy were in tears at the end as the happy Greta Garbo skipped out of the hotel, unaware that John Barrymore was dead. Harry thought the movie was slow and a bit dull, with too many characters to follow. His mind constantly drifted back to Alexandrina.

Late the next morning Harry joined Siegfried and Roy for breakfast in the kitchen. It had been designed to look rustic, with an uneven slate floor, exposed brick work covering the wood burning stove and racks displaying plates, dishes and cups from the Greek isles. The extent of the ceramic collection and the size of the kitchen belied its true opulence.

"What ever is the matter Harold?" asked Siegfried, "You've barely touched your peaches and cottage cheese."

"Oh," said Harry, "Sorry," he tried to think up an excuse but could not. "I was just thinking of someone I met last night, after the show."

"Ooh, does he have a tight little butt?" asked Siegfried.

Roy kicked Siegfried under the table.

"I mean does she have a tight little butt?"

Roy kicked Siegfried again.

"Er, I mean, are her breasts rich and ripe like peaches in a summer orchard?"

"There's something wrong with you," said Roy.

"You know it, babe," replied Siegfried.

Roy turned to Harry and explained, "What my partner is trying to ask is 'What is she like?'"

"She's pretty. She has long red hair and green eyes and she's a witch too. Her name is Alexandrina."

Siegfried and Roy looked at each other. "Did she have an antique gold ring with a red stone?" asked Siegfried.

"Yes," said Harry, "Do you know her?"

"Oh no," said Siegfried, "Silly boy, I saw her at the show last night."

Harry could not help but feeling that Siegfried and Roy were holding back on him. His unease continued throughout the day after an owl with a letter arrived. Siegfried and Roy were both busy with divination incantations. They seemed to arrive at a bad conclusion and were beginning to look positively upset. Harry was so distracted by this that he lost three rounds of "Magic: The Gathering" to Hedwig. He didn't mind losing a card game to an owl, but Hedwig's victory dance was beginning to get on his nerves. He started to wonder what Ron or Hermione would suggest if they were here; probably something with defied common sense. Again he thought about Alexandrina; maybe he should take her up on her offer to help him. She seemed so charming, yet it seemed like Alexandrina had been the thing which first upset Siegfried and Roy. Harry didn't know what to make of it.

Even the show seemed lifeless that night. Siegfried and Roy would not tell him the matter and Harry, being English, dared not bring up an unpleasant subject. He was relieved when the show was over. Harry went back to the hotel Atrium, hoping, praying, to see Alexandrina again.

"Harry," he heard a melodious voice call out. "I'm so happy to see you again." Alexandrina walked up to him.

"Alexandrina," said Harry, "I was hoping to see you too."

Alexandrina had an old fashioned style of dress with a long grey skirt, white blouse, grey coat and a narrow brimmed hat. She wore those clothes without looking dowdy; she reminded Harry a bit of Joan Crawford from the movie last night.

"I'm sorry about running out on you last night," she said as she smiled. "I thought I saw someone who was looking for me. You see, I'm sort of a runaway; not the sort that they'd put out an Amber Alert for," she quickly added. "It's just that sometimes I feel I have to escape my responsibilities."

"Oh, I feel like that all the time," said Harry.

"Princess," called Roy.

Harry turned around and saw both Siegfried and Roy standing there. Both men had their arms crossed and looked determined. Harry said "What's wrong?"

Alexandrina's mouth dropped open, "You know these two?" she asked Harry.

"Yes, I…"

"You lured me here," she said to Harry as her eyes narrowed and her expression darkened quickly like a storm coming from the sea.

"What? No…" Harry sputtered.

"Harry doesn't know who you are, princess," said Siegfried.

"For once I'd like to meet a man who wasn't one of your special friends," said Alexandrina as she put her hands on her hips.

"Harry is our intern," said Roy.

"Is that what you're calling them now?" she asked, sarcastically.

"Princess calm down," said Roy.

"No, I hate you. I hate all men." She took off the ring and hurled it at Siegfried and Roy.

"Princess, stop," said Roy. He looked alarmed.

Her hair grew longer before Harry's eyes and her expression grew harder making her look much older. She waved her hand and one of the rugs on the ground came to life. It flew up to her and she stepped up on it. She flew up toward the ceiling.

"Flame on," she shouted and her hands were covered by fire, but it didn't seem to burn her. She pointed her hand at Harry and flames shot forth. He rolled to the side; the flames narrowly missed him.

Harry pulled out his wand in a blind panic, aimed it at her and shouted "Lighting bolt, lightning bolt, lightning bolt." The air crackled with electricity and bolts shot from Harry's wand, going far from their mark. They struck the ceiling, scorching it.

"Harold, get behind us," commanded Siegfried. Harry ducked down and ran forward behind the two men.

"I'll show you," said Alexandrina. "Flame on, flame on," two more balls of fire shot out from her arms directly at Siegfried and Roy. They didn't flinch as the balls exploded about them. The oxygen from the room all rushed to that point. The furniture in the lobby was burnt to a crisp, but Siegfried and Roy were not even singed. Their clothes sparkled as brightly as before and their hair was still in place.

"What… how?" sputtered Alexandrina.

"We are not harmed by fire," said Roy.

"'Flaming' is our middle name," added Siegfried.

"Ooh," she muttered curses to herself as her carpet hastily flew out the front door of the hotel.

"You know her?" asked Harry.

"Yes, she's princess Alexandrina of Armenia; but she's better known as The Fire Witch."

"She seemed so nice," said Harry as he got up and dusted himself off.

"All women seem nice," said Roy. "In fact they're all laughing at you behind your back and saying 'Look at the little fairy.'"

"Roy, not every woman is your mother," said Siegfried firmly. He turned to Harry and explained, "This happens at least once a month." Harry noted the tears rolling down Roy's cheeks.


	6. Chapter 6

After a non-fat grande mocha latte with a shot of sugar free orange syrup Roy was again able to function. The three men sat around a low round table at Starbucks and talked.

"Who was that girl?" asked Harry. "You said she's a princess of Armenia.

"So she is, dear boy," said Siegfried. "Though today there is no Armenia. She was born there in the twelfth century."

"She's 900 years old?" asked Harry. "Does she have a Philosopher's Stone?"

"You seem confused, dear heart," said Siegfried. "A Philosopher's Stone turns lead into gold. She achieved immortality by cheating death."

"How did she cheat death?" asked Harry.

"Well," Siegfried backpedaled, "She didn't really cheat death; she just used a rule that Death was unaware of. You see the Wizards of Byzantium used to hold magnificent chess tournaments and Death, as you ought to know, is quite the chess enthusiast, so she entered the chess tournament.

"Death is a woman?" asked Harry.

"Of course," said Roy, "Though she has the most appalling taste in everything. Why she still drives a VW Beetle, one from the 60's."

"I had no idea," said Harry.

Siegfried continued, "Late in the tournament Death faced Princess Alexandrina. Alexandrina used the _en passant_ to capture one of Death's pawns. Death had never heard that rule and just flew into a rage. She swore she would never speak to Princess Alexandrina again and so Alexandrina has lived forever. Fortunately she avoided the fate of the Sybil of Cumae."

"Who?" asked Harry.

"Honestly, Harold, I have only got the patience to get through one implausible story at a time. If you keep interrupting I'll never finish this one." Siegfried sounded a little cross.

"Sorry," said Harry meekly.

"Anyhow, as I was saying she was able to avoid the fate of the Sybil of Cumae through a powerful magic charm. No one knows what it is, but as I understand it the great wizards Proctor and Gamble use a similar formula in their Oil of Olay."

"But what about the ring?" asked Harry, as he nodded to the ring Siegfried had placed on the table.

"That's the Hecate ring," explained Roy. "Creatures who live a very long time tend to go insane. The Hecate Ring allows Alexandrina to remaining her right mind as a sweet little evoker, but the burden a little girl day upon day forever is too much for anyone to bare without magic. When she takes the ring off she becomes a mad evoker, like Sylvia Plath. She even writes the most upsetting poetry like that."

"Though I don't understand at all what makes her so upset," said Siegfried. "I would love to be a fourteen year old girl forever with nothing to do but put on make up, go shopping and try on new outfits. I think I'd get something lacy."

"What was she doing here?" asked Harry, ignoring Siegfried's comment.

"She's run away from her home, Armenia; not the one in Turkey, the one in New York City," explained Siegfried.

"There's an Armenia in New York City?" asked Harry.

"Well, not in, really, it's above New York City. You see, during the First World War the Ottoman Wizards feared that the Armenian Wizards would ally with the Russians, so they started a campaign to exterminate all Armenians. The last of the great Armenian Wizards, the Crimson King, escaped by building a flying city made of a series of zeppelins, flying carpets and the like. He and his court flew away, far beyond Europe to above New York City. The Crimson King immediately fell in love with the city and left his city up there where it's remained ever since.

"And that's where the Fire Witch lives?" asked Harry.

"Usually, yes, we must find a way to get her back there. First we'll have to consult David Copperfield."


	7. Chapter 7

David Copperfield was dressed entirely in black. His coat, pants, shirt and tie were all the same shade of black. Harry thought it made him look a little ghostly, but Harry didn't spend a lot of time looking at David, for he was flanked six beautiful women, three on either side of him. They sat at a vast mahogany table. Siegfried, Roy and Harry sat on the other side.

"So you've come at last to kill me and steal my harem of super model ninjas," said David. He had his hands set in front of him, one wrapped around the other.

"Uhm, no" replied Siegfried.

"Don't be ashamed to admit it, I used to have the same problem with Liberace all the time."

"That's strange, Liberace never mentioned that," said Roy.

"They are my harem, you know," continued David Copperfield, oblivious of the interruption. "I make sweet monkey love to at least two of them a night."

"Yes, David, but that's not why we're here," said Siegfried, trying to interrupt.

"And in addition to being super models they're ninjas so they're all very flexible and agile."

Roy tried to interrupt, "That's nice, David, but beside the…"

"And they're all in love with me too. They're always baking me cookies and…"

You are not fooling anyone, David," said Siegfried severely; "But that's not why we've come to talk to you about. The Fire Witch has escaped and what's worse, she's taken off the ring."

"So you want me to kill her?" asked David.

"No," said Roy, "We want you to help us bring her back to the court of the Crimson King."

"Can we send her corpse back?" asked David.

"No," replied Roy, "You can't kill her; she's immortal."

"Can she bleed?" asked David.

"As far as I know," said Roy.

"Then we can kill her," said David.

"No you can't," said Roy.

"Look," explained David, "I have an army of super model ninjas who are all in love with me. I can kill anyone I want.

'But you can't kill the Fire Witch because the Fire Witch can't die," said Roy. He sounded exasperated.

"This seems to be upsetting you," noted David.

"Because all your plans revolve around killing the Fire Witch," said Roy. We just want to summon her."

"Then you don't want me, you want the Black Queen."

Siegfried and Roy's jaws dropped and they stared open mouthed at one another. "That's right," said Siegfried. "We'll see her right away."

"Glad to help," said David, "Is there anyone else you want me to kill?"

"No," they both replied quickly.

David turned to Harry and asked, "Would you like to borrow one of my super model ninjas?"

"Could I?" asked Harry. His eyes lit up.

"No, they're mine and they're all in love with me," he said as he smiled with cruel satisfaction.

"Oh," said Harry as his face fell.

"It's okay, Harold, we may use the hot tub tonight," said Siegfried as he rubbed his hands together with glee.

Siegfried's offer did little to cheer Harry up, but it was for the best. Roy insisted that they first go see the keeper of the city keys.

"The Black Queen is a recluse," explained Roy. She's the titular arch-mage of Seattle, but does little in terms of the bureaucracy. In order to visit her we will need a key."

They came upon a shop done up in dazzling neon. A sign flashed "Dean Lido, Key Master, Key Maker and Keeper of the City Keys."

"Siegfried, Roy and friend," a short man greeted them. He wore a leather apron and a visor. His shop glittered with all manner of keys illuminated by wild neon lights.

"This is Harold Potter," explained Siegfried. "Isn't he darling?"

"What can I get for you?" asked the man.

"We need the key to the city of Seattle," said Roy.

"Is Queen Jane, Approximately, in trouble?" the man asked.

"Oh no, it's the Fire Witch," answered Roy.

"Oh dear," said the man as he rifled through the drawers until he came upon an old fashioned brass key. "Here you go," he said as he handed it to Roy.

"But how will this help?" asked Harry Potter.

"This key can open any lock in the city of Seattle," replied Siegfried.

"You mean this is a magic shop?" asked Harry.

"Of course," said Siegfried.

"In England the magic shops are more subtle than this so mu… I mean so that non-magic-using Americans don't walk in.

"Oh it's the same here," said Roy.

"Are you sure?" asked Harry, as he eyed the brilliant flashing neon flamingos in the front window.

"This is Vegas, baby," said Siegfried. "This is as subtle as it gets."


	8. Chapter 8

With the key to Seattle in hand Siegfried and Roy drove back home.

"Can we take a train to Seattle?" asked Harry while they were in the car. "I love the train, we always take it to Hogwarts, except this one time when Ron and I couldn't get through the magic portal…"

"The train?" sniffed Siegfried. "Why only unglamorous people take the train."

"Plus it would take three days to get to Seattle by train," added Roy.

"Three days?" repeated Harry, "But it's only five hours from London to Edinburgh."

"Yes, dear," said Siegfried, "But we don't want to go from London to Edinburgh; we want to go from Las Vegas to Seattle, and we shall go by the most fabulous method possible."

"What is that?" asked Harry.

"By the Prism Ship" replied Roy.

"A ship in the desert?" asked Harry.

"It's a magic ship," replied Roy.

"Oh, said Harry, feeling a little foolish for not having considered that possibility. They pulled up to the boat house in back of the mansion. Siegfried and Roy got on either side of the house, struck a dramatic pose by raising an arm and angling their hips so that they seemed to form a gate. The doors to the house vanished and a ship emerged. The ship was every color of the rainbow and the colors were divided into bands like light sent through a prism. In fact the ship looked as though it was made of light, it shone and shimmered. Siegfried and Roy grabbed a ladder on either side of the ship and climbed up from the violet bottom to the red deck. The sails and riggings were also many colored starting at red and going up orange, then yellow then, at mid mast, green then blue and violet at the top of the sails and the very top of the crows nest was violet. From the back and from the top of the masts a flag with a rainbow pattern was fluttering in the breeze.

"Isn't this fantastic?" asked Roy. "It's just like the cover to "Dark Side of the Moon."

That wasn't exactly what the ship made Harry think of, but before he could respond Siegfried said to Roy, "Please, you dinosaur. Delicious young boys like Harold don't listen to music like that anymore. They're all into raves now and techno music."

Harry sighed, for he never got invited to raves and even when he was invited it was invariably on the night of his final confrontation with Voldemort. Voldemort or the Death Eaters had an uncanny knack for striking on the night of the best party of the year. Harry didn't really care for techno music, but everyone else seemed to have so much fun; except for Ron, Hermione and him. Ron and Hermione couldn't go either because they were always helping Harry. Hermione never had fun anyway, but Harry felt a little bad about causing Ron to miss the best parties.

"So, who is the Black Queen?" asked Harry, trying to change the subject.

"She's Queen Jane, Approximately," answered Roy.

"You mean she's approximately a queen?" asked Harry.

"No, that would be Siegfried," said Roy. "Queen Jane, Approximately is approximately Jane."

"But how can one be approximately Jane?" asked Harry.

"She was Queen of Cyprus when it was a Crusader Kingdom and she entertained Princess Alexandrina about a century after the chess tournament. That was the time when Alexandrina first had an episode. She destroyed the palace and burnt Queen Jane almost to death. At that time the craftsmen in her court were the greatest in the world; she had employed masters from Venice and Constantinople. So they constructed a new body for her made of ivory, glass and gemstones. The wizards of the Crusader Kingdoms were the wisest at that time for they had knowledge of the secrets of the east and west, so they were able to transfer Queen Jane's soul into the new body; but when you transfer souls between bodies you never get it exactly. That is why she's not Queen Jane, Exactly; she's only Queen Jane, Approximately. She's gloomy because of that, and she always dresses in black. She's mourning her own death, which is why she's called the Black Queen."

"But how can she summon the Fire Witch?" asked Harry.

"She was the greatest singer in the Eastern Mediterranean during her lifetime. Now she only sings funeral marches; but she sings so sadly that it moves everyone. Princess Alexandrina, when she is mad, can hear Queen Jane sing from anywhere in the world and Alexandrina always rushes to the sound because she hopes that it is her funeral."

"But why do we need the city key?"

"The Black Queen is a recluse who never leaves her Bleak Tower willingly. We must go there and defeat her in a duel."

"A Wizard's Duel?" asked Harry, nervously.

"No, a conjurer's duel;" replied Roy. "It's a little different, but you'll see."


	9. Chapter 9

The Prism Ship looked very much out of place in Seattle where everything seemed to be grey or green. Harry loved the city; it reminded him of home; but Siegfried thought the weather was simply un-fabulous and it wasn't until Roy had taken him to the aquarium that Siegfried regained his usual fabulous composure. Harry had failed to see the point of that until he saw the bleak tower; even Harry thought that was as far as being fabulous as possible. It was an ancient grey stone structure with dingy narrow windows and crumbling blocks. Roy took the lead and knocked, but there was no reply. So he took the key to Seattle and unfastened the deadbolt on the battered door. It opened to a dismal interior filled with plain, dusty furniture. The room was illuminated only by a dull shaft of light which filtered in from the grey window.

"Ugh, why doesn't she find an interior decorator?" asked Roy.

"She's French and she's from the Levant and this is the best she can do?" sniffed Siegfried. "She could have a room full of hanging Turkish lamps and decorate the floor with kilims and get some lovely Grand Siecle furniture."

"Plus she needs larger windows and the walls could be painted a cheerful summer color like a pale yellow," added Roy.

"But it's all so pointless," a weary voice called from above. Harry looked up and saw a lovely woman. She had long golden hair, which spilled down her back in a thick forest of curls. Her skin was ivory and luminescent. Her eyes seemed to be made of sapphires, and they sparkled in the little available light. Her lips were brilliant red, like rubies. Incongruent to her cheerful beauty, she looked weary and dressed mournfully. She wore a long black medieval style dress and a black hexagonal hat. She wore onyx earrings, rings and a necklace. A number of light silver chains decorated in filigree were set over her breasts and waist.

"Queen Jane," said Siegfried, "I have terrible news. Robert Smith called and he wants his clothes back."

"I see that the years have not improved your wit," sighed Jane. She sounded resigned. "I assume that the princess has escaped and you want me to help you."

"Yes," said Roy. "Will you come with us to New York City?"

"No," replied Queen Jane.

"But she could be burning everything right now," said Roy.

"Who is this?" asked the Black Queen, nodding at Harry.

"He's Harold Potter," said Siegfried.

"Call me Harry," he insisted.

"You have exquisite taste in young boys," said Queen Jane, "He's quite handsome."

"Harry is our intern," said Roy.

"Of course," she said again with a sigh, "Your intern. Have you taught him much?"

"Anyhow you won't help us?" asked Roy.

"I will not," replied the Black Queen.

"Then I challenge you to a duel," said Roy, "And if I win you will come to New York City with us."

"I accept, and if I win you two will leave me alone," said Queen Jane.

The duel took place on the spacious lawn before the bleak tower. Siegfried and Harry stood behind Roy sharing a large umbrella. Queen Jane stood on the opposite side of the field.

"You may move first, Queen Jane," said Roy.

The change in climate seemed to have done Queen Jane some good, she seemed more energetic. "I summon the Pattern Juggler," she announced. A harlequin in a multi-colored outfit appeared on the field. "Armed with amazing manual skill the pattern juggler can repel any missile or ranged attack making him among the most valuable defensive monsters in the conjurer's compendium. Now I'll end my turn."

"I summon Simba the white tiger," announced Roy. "Hailing from the green fields of Africa, Simba combines speed and power. Then I cast strength enhancement on Simba increasing his strength even further. Then I'll end my turn."

"I summon the Yellow Jester," she announced. "The Yellow Jester is the master of all marionettes and he is able to use his puppets to attack multiple foes at once. Now I'll end my turn."

"Why does she keep summoning clowns?" asked Harry.

"I don't know, Harold," replied Siegfried, "I think it's compensating for her usually gloomy demeanor."

"I summon Pegasus," announced Roy and a winged horse appeared on the field. "With dazzling speed and courage Pegasus is able to launch sudden overwhelming attacks from anywhere and I'll cast a trap then end my turn."

"Are all conjurers' duels this boring?" asked Harry. He had been used to the quick, flashy and sometimes lethal wizards' duels like they sometimes had at Hogwarts.

"I'm afraid so, Harold. That's why I became an illusionist instead. Our duels are simply fabulous. We create illusionary monsters and have them attack one another."

"Isn't that the same as this?"

"No, our monsters are much more glittery. What area of magic do you intend to specialize in?"

Oh, in England we don't have a University," Harry said with a shrug. "One goes straight into the ministry of magic when one is finished at Hogwarts."

"That's awful; nothing is more un-fabulous than having to work with bureaucrats when one is eighteen."

I summon the Purple Piper announced Queen Jane. A clown dressed all in purple appeared on the field. "With his soothing pipes the Purple Piper can pipe a lullaby to put to sleep even the strongest of foes. I now activate his magic power; play your tune."

The gentle notes wafted from the pipe sounding across the field."

"Wait," announced Roy as his animals began to look lethargic. "Little did you know that I had placed "Silence" as my spell. This blocks the lullaby and allows my monsters to remain awake."

"Well I shall cast my own enchantment trap and end my turn," replied the Black Queen.

"Very well, I summon The Greek Hero," said Roy. A muscular man in a short leather skirt appeared. "One of the mighty sons of Hercules, The Greek Hero has both speed and power. Now I launch my attack; Greek Hero mount Pegasus and attack Queen Jane directly."

The Greek Hero sallied forth, but when he was halfway across the field Queen Jane said, "I activate my enchantment, Intentional Grounding. Intentional Grounding forces all flying creatures to the ground. Now finish him, Pattern Juggler." The Pattern juggler effortlessly hurled two knives into the creatures and they vanished.

"Are their actually rules for this kind of duel?" asked Harry.

"Yes, of course," replied Siegfried.

"It rather seems like they're making it up as they go along; sort of like Quidditch."

"Oh, please, Harold, I've read fan-fics that made more sense than the rules of Quidditch," said Siegfried as he rolled his eyes.

Harry had to agree; even though he was the star of Gryffendor's Quidditch team he couldn't puzzle together more than half of the rules. Even the ones he did know seemed vague and arbitrary. There was little time for reverie though for Queen Jane was planning her move.

"With your Pegasus defeated I shall use the yellow jester and his marionette army to destroy your white tiger. Attack him, Jester."

A dozen marionettes of knights and soldiers ran forth with swords drawn, but the tiger beat them back and leapt upon the Yellow Jester. The Yellow Jester vanished.

"What? How could I have lost?" moaned Queen Jane.

"You had forgotten that I had cast strength on my tiger allowing it to defeat your Yellow Jester."

"Oh," she said, defeated. "Then I shall end my turn."

"I summon Unicorn," said Roy and on the field a white unicorn appeared.

"Are all your monsters gay?" asked Queen Jane.

"I prefer the term 'Camp'" replied Roy. "Now I'll use my Rod of Quickness to summon Elf Princess." A beautiful maid with a long shimmering gown of gossamer, and a crown of daffodils appeared. "With the Elf Princess to guide him the Unicorns attack exceeds your pattern juggler's defense. Unicorn attack."

The Elf Princess leapt up on the unicorn and road it sidesaddle across the field. It skewered the Pattern Juggler and the harlequin vanished.

"Now Simba attack the Purple Piper," ordered Roy. Simba quickly bounded across the field and leapt upon the Purple Piper who also disappeared.

"No!" shrieked Queen Jane, "All the clowns that I had commissioned have died in battle or in vain."

"Now do you yield?" demanded Roy.

"I yield," said Queen Jane, morosely.

"Then come with us," said Roy.

"Did you take the Pride Ship here?" asked Queen Jane.

"That's the Prism Ship," said Roy.

"I wanted to call it the Rainbow Warrior," said Siegfried to Harry, "But there was some kind of copyright issue."

"Could I take the silver machine instead?" she asked.

"Of course," said Roy. "Why don't you go with her Harry?"

"We may be late," said Siegfried to Harry, "Roy always gets frisky after a duel."

That was much more information than Harry needed. He was relieved to accompany Queen Jane.


	10. Chapter 10

Queen Jane led Harry down a stairwell to a long dark tunnel beneath the bleak tower. There was a sports car at the base of the stairs. Even in the low light the car gleamed and shimmered as if it were made of mercury.

"This is the Silver Machine," said Queen Jane, proudly.

"It's so shiny," said Harry, standing back. He was afraid to even breathe upon the car.

"It's antiseptically clean," explained Queen Jane.

"But how can we get to a city in the sky in a car? Can this car fly? My friend Ron's father has a flying car. Once Ron and I took it to Hogwarts…"

"This doesn't fly;" said the Black Queen, "Rather it travels on the other side of the sky.

"The other side?" asked Harry; he sounded particularly puzzled.

"Of course," replied Jane. "If you look up you see one side of the sky; so their must be another."

Harry had never considered that, but physics wasn't really his subject. "Will it take a long time to get there?" He remembered Siegfried saying how long a train took from Las Vegas to Seattle. A car seemed like it would take even longer and New York City was further away than Las Vegas.

"Not at all," Queen Jane said with a smile. Harry thought she was exceptionally pretty when she smiled; but guessed that was an extremely rare occurrence. "The Silver Machine travels sideways through time. I'll show you."

The interior of the car was black with silver highlights. Queen Jane fired up the engine; they roared to life and suddenly everything in front of Harry seemed an amazing vision of silver and blue with orbs of gold speeding by them. Harry felt himself being jerked to the right and left and a vast starry canopy sped above them. In a moment it was over and they were on a platform. Harry guessed that they were in the city in the sky for he saw clouds at eye level.

"Oh," said Harry, "That was awful."

"Do you feel sick?" asked the Black Queen.

"No," said Harry and he thought for a moment, "Strangely enough, I feel mean."

"That's an effect of the Silver Machine," explained Queen Jane. "You'd better bury that feeling; the Crimson King is coming."

Two heralds in crimson suits flanked a man in crimson robes. He had black hair and a beard and wore a golden circlet studded with rubies.

"So you have returned Jane," he said formally.

"Hello, Robert," she answered coldly, "I'm only here to summon Princess Alexandrina."

"That's all I need," the Crimson King replied. "Where are Siegfried and Roy?"

"They're taking the Prism Ship and will be here presently," answered Queen Jane.

"Of course, and who is this?" he turned to Harry.

"I'm Harry Potter," he replied.

"The boy who lived?" asked the Crimson King.

"Yes," replied Harry.

"How fascinating, the Pinball Wizard has written to me about you." This caused Harry to swell with pride, for the Pinball Wizard was the arch-mage of London and was among the greatest wizards who ever lived; even though he was deaf, dumb and blind. Many in the magic world considered him an exemplary moralist as well and it was hoped his teachings would be passed onto the muggles at some future date. "How do you know Queen Jane?" asked the Crimson King.

"I'm working as an intern for Siegfried and Roy."

"Say no more, that's all I need to know," said the Crimson King as he waved his hand. "Let's go to the chapel.

They walked out on the platform where there were a number of flat woven rugs overlooking the edge. All around him were a number of airships hovering high above the city. Looking down Harry could recognize the Chrysler Building and the Empire State Building through the clouds. The city looked like a model set out below him.

"We're right above the Rockefeller Plaza," said the Crimson King as he noticed Harry looking about. The Armenian Oil Magnate Calouste Gulbenkian was good friends with John Rockefeller so he let us moor the building.

"You mean John Rockefeller was a wizard?" asked Harry, astounded, for that had never been covered in the history texts at Hogwarts.

"Only so far as money has a magic all its own," said Queen Jane.

"More powerful than any spell," said the Crimson King as he nodded. Harry really didn't know what either one meant, but he nodded along.

They sat on the carpets and one by one they came to another zeppelin. This one housed a good sized chapel. Harry had seen Saint Paul's and Westminster, this was much smaller than those, but it seemed enormous to be suspended by a blimp. It had a grey stone floor, high stone walls and a vaulted ceiling. Bright light streamed in from stained glass windows on the south wall. A chamber orchestra and a choir stood in front of the chapel. There was an enormous man standing in front of a cracked brass bell next to the orchestra.

"Good, good," noted the Black Queen. I see you've made all the necessary preparations, but who is to put the Hecate ring back on the Fire Witch?"

"I believe I can," a blonde man answered as he walked in. He wore very tight grey pants, a white shirt and a black vest. What was most striking about the man was his eyes which looked to be two different shades of blue.

"The Goblin King," explained The Crimson King. "He lives in a vast labyrinth beneath New York City where he rules over the goblins who live in the sewers. This is Queen Jane, Approximately."

"We've met," said the Goblin King and they both nodded stiffly at one another.

"And this is Harry Potter," continued the Crimson King.

The Goblin King studied Harry over; "Have we met before?" he asked. "You remind me of the man."

"What man?" asked the Crimson King.

"The man with the power," replied the Goblin King.

"What power?" asked Queen Jane.

"The power of voodoo," answered the Goblin King.

"Who do?" asked Harry Potter.

"You do," answered the Goblin King.

"Do what?" asked the Crimson King.

"Remind me of the man," answered the Goblin King. Fortunately Siegfried and Roy arrived so that this could no longer continue.

"Sorry we're late," said Roy. "We brought the ring and…" he stopped when he saw the Goblin King and said "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God."

"Is it really you?" asked Siegfried.

"Yes, of course," said the Goblin King.

"Would you like to see my Prism Ship?" asked Siegfried.

"You are such a slut," said Roy as he looked pointedly at Siegfried.

"Gentlemen, we have more important things to do at the moment," said the Crimson King.

"Oh yes, what is your plan," said Roy.

"First the Black Queen will sing the funeral march, then when the Fire Witch enters the chapel Roy will summon various flying creatures to distract her. Then the Goblin King will jump at her and slip the Hecate Ring onto her finger."

"Might I be able to help?" asked Harry. "As a distraction I mean; I am the seeker for the House Gryffendor team at Hogwarts."

"The what?" asked the Crimson King.

"The seeker, you know, in Quidditch," said Harry.

"Are those the ones who hurl cast iron balls at people?" asked the Crimson King

"No, those are the bounders," said Roy. "The seeker is the one who chases down the golden snitch."

"What use would catching the snitch be in trying distract a witch?" asked the Crimson King.

"Harry is a very agile flyer upon a broom," explained Roy. "The headmaster of his school spoke highly of his flying ability."

"I see, but we have no brooms," said the Crimson King. "In Armenia witches wove flying carpets to make their own dowry. So all we have are these flying carpets that Alexandrina wove."

"Well, if you can fly a broom, I imagine you can fly a carpet," said Queen Jane.

"Very well, I'll go get you one of the carpets," in a few minutes he returned with a large red carpet with a pattern of doves woven on it.

Harry found that flying a carpet was easier than a broom; though the carpet lacked the maneuverability. He had to bank steeply to maintain speed when turning in such a confined area.

He landed safely in the back as the Black Queen began her chant. She sang "Requiem Aeternam" solo and the rest of the choir joined her. The chorus accompanied them and the cracked brass bell tolled making the entire chapel shiver with its vibrations. Harry did think it sounded wonderfully sad, though he doubted it would have summoned him anywhere. He realized that he wasn't a crazy 800 year old witch; different things might attract them.

In the midst of this reverie the Fire Witch did fly in to the room. She wore the same clothes as when Harry had seen her last, though now they had scorch marks on them. Her red hair was now wildly askew and had leaves and twigs in it. She still was on her red carpet.

"Is this for me?" she asked, excited. "Where's death and where is my coffin? I want a beautiful ebony one with copper handles." She looked around and saw there no death and no coffin and said "This isn't for me, is it," she sounded disappointed. "It's just like the last six times. I hate all of you," she sounded angry now. "Flame on," she shouted.

Harry flew up after her and tried to put his hand on her shoulder. "Alexandrina, I know your upset," said Harry.

"You don't know anything," she retorted. She pointed at him and flames shot forth. Harry dropped right before and the fire narrowly missed his head.

"I summon the white griffin," Roy announced. "The white griffin has the forequarters of an eagle and the hindquarters of a lion which gives him both incredible strength and the ability to fly."

The creature appeared next to Alexandrina, caught onto her carpet with its beak and tried to pull her in the opposite direction. The Fire witch turned her flame onto it, but as she was doing so Harry shouted "Lighting bolt, lightning bolt, lightning bolt" and electricity shot out of his wand blowing her back. As she was twitching the Goblin King shouted "Jump, magic jump" and effortlessly leapt 30 feet into the air. He placed the ring back on her finger and landed with ease.

Another transformation occurred in Alexandrina almost instantly. Her hair grew shorter and more manageable. Her eyes seemed less harsh and an innocent smile returned to her face.

"Oh," she exclaimed as she looked at her scorched clothes. "Oh Crimson King, I'm so sorry," she said as she blushed furiously. "I didn't mean to run away; I was just so desperately lonely."

"I know Alexandrina," he said. "When you left I decided that when you came back you would go to the school in the city; that way you could make friends and not always be stuck in the court of the Crimson King."

"Really?" Alexandrina looked delighted. "Oh that would be wonderful, but aren't you afraid of what might happen if I leave here? What if a dog bites off my ring finger?"

"We'll deal with that when the time comes, but you'll be much closer if something like that happens," the Crimson King replied.

"Oh thank you so much," she said and she hugged him tightly.

"You must come and visit me and my goblins some time," said the Goblin King. "Maybe you could steal a young boy before you visit; that makes for a nice gift."

"I'll do that," said Alexandrina, "Unless you'd prefer some bread. I'm a very good baker."

"Oh, yes, that would be nice too," agreed the Goblin King.

"Thank you so much, Jane. I'm sorry to put you through so much trouble. Maybe we can be friends now; I could visit you in Seattle."

"We could go to the fish market," said Queen Jane.

"Oh could I King Robert?" she turned and asked. Queen Jane began vigorously shaking her head "No" as Alexandrina's back was turned.

"We'll have to see," the Crimson King answered.

She moved on to Siegfried and Roy and said, "I'm so sorry for what I said. I know you want what's best for me."

"We shall have to visit New York again, now that you can leave the castle," said Siegfried. "I'd love to go shopping with you. I've got a million things for you to try."

"And we can get lunch in the Village," added Roy.

"Can we go to the Disney Store, the one in Times Square?" asked Alexandrina.

"Yes," Siegfried and Roy answered in unison. "And afterwards," continued Roy, "We can go to the Hello Kitty store."

"I must have ruined your internship," she said to Harry.

"Not at all, I learned much about magic in America from this."

She giggled. "It's too bad you weren't born in the same century as I was. I think I rather could have loved you. How happy we would have been."

Harry felt as though his heart was breaking; though he recognized the truth in what she said. She was, after all, eight hundred years older than he was and May-December romances seldom worked out. "It's certainly nice to think so," he replied.

"I'll read Hermoine's live journal page every day," she said. "I hope you have another adventure this year. I want it to be the sort where you're living a miserable life with your aunt and uncle and then go to Hogwarts where you encounter a mystery and at the end you have to face Voldemort or one of his Death Eaters and you triumph then you and Dumbledore talk and he explains the numerous things that didn't make sense and the lesson you were supposed to have learned."

"Those are my favorite types too," agreed Harry and they shook hands goodbye.


	11. Chapter 11

"How many Sera Angles do you have in your deck?" asked Harry as Hedwig placed down her third on the table. Harry's life points were about shot and his only creatures were a couple of goblins.

"I brought you some tea, Harold," a voice called from behind. Siegfried walked in and set the tray down on Harry's desk. "Are you okay, dear boy? You've been a bit mopey since Princess Alexandrina spoke with you. Are you mooning over the one who got away?"

"No, the Fire Witch was beautiful, but we really couldn't have had a lasting relationship. When I'm forty and she still looks fourteen someone is going to call the police," replied Harry as he shrugged his shoulder.

"Quite true, plus she's a bit moody."

"That's putting in mildly," Harry said with a smile. "I'm okay with Alexandrina but I think I'm feeling down because I've completed an adventure, though one without he-who-shall-not-be-named and I don't have Dumbledore to tell me what it all means."

"Well, I'm not as old as Dumbledore, by quite a bit, Harold, but perhaps I can help. What did you think or America?"

"It's nice, but different from England with all the immigrant wizards here like you and Roy and the Armenians and the Black Queen. You don't seem half as hung up on blood purity or anything like that."

"For the most part, no," agreed Harry, "Though you'll find some of the worst bigots here. Certain wizards call themselves Imperial Wizard and are the most vocal advocates of blood purity; though they tend to live in rural areas."

"I'm surprised wizards like that can support themselves. In the UK it's either the bureaucracy or teaching; here you have more options."

"Yes, Americans tend not to trust the bureaucracies. Though Britain's is very well run; now the European one in Brussels seems, to an outsider, to be hideously inefficient."

"A lot of British wizards think so too," Harry said as he nodded. "That's why we're hesitant to joint them further. One thing I was surprised with was the lack of following of Quidditch; it's a rollicking good sport."

"I read once that 'Sport,' as the English mean it, is a foreign word in every other language. All the English speaking countries have their own sports for non-magic users; so there's Gaelic Football, American Football, Canadian Football, Australian Football as well as association football. Naturally their wizards came up with their own sports too. The rest of the world adopted Quidditch, but that doesn't mean the former colonies don't love their sport less than you love Quidditch.

"I suppose not, but I'll be glad to go back to England," said Harry. "Though I can see why you and Roy would prefer to live here."

"Perhaps that's the lesson you should learn then," said Siegfried.

"It does make me feel better," agreed Harry.

"Then come on, let's get ready for the show," both men stood up.

Harry noticed Hedwig glaring at him. "Okay, I'll yield," Harry sighed.

The End


End file.
